I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
