laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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