i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
