All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
