he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
