Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
