dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
