Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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