who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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