I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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