I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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