You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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