Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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