I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
