marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
