Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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