i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
