I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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