i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
