Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
