I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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