Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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