She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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