well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
