I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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