His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
