She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
