your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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