my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
