Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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