i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
