Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
