If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
