i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
