i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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