I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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