they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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