I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
