And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
