this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
