I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
