all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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