I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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