I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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