Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
