I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
