And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
