Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
