She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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