oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
