Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
